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<title>i'll be home for christmas... by lostin_space</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28329036">i'll be home for christmas...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space'>lostin_space</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>quick little doodles [130]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Christmas, Lost Decade (Roswell New Mexico), M/M, Unhappy Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:00:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28329036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>...if only in my dreams</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>quick little doodles [130]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll be home for christmas...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is what happens when i have to listen to I'll be home for Christmas by josh groban multiple times a day every day for like 3 weeks straight</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I’ll be home for Christmas…</em>
</p><p>Alex never remembered his dreams.</p><p>Most days any memory was gone before he opened his eyes, others the feeling remained but the cause didn’t. He’d wake up in fear or panic with no explanation. They weren’t vivid or realistic.</p><p>So the feeling of calloused hands on his waist, the smell of motor oil, the taste of Michael Guerin, those were all real. The lights that lit up the tiny Christmas tree on the table in the ajrstream was real. The freshly cleaned sheets and the smiles and the promise of a mistletoe in the doorway were so very real.</p><p>“Stop it, I told you not to get anything,” Alex breathed, holding onto Michael’s face as he tried to pull away to reach for a present hidden beneath his bed. “Keep it.”</p><p>“No, it’s not mine, it’s yours,” Michael laughed, leaving a few more kisses before pulling away entirely. Alex whined and let his head dramatically hit the pillow.</p><p>“I didn’t get you anything,” he whined, “You’re gonna fill me with guilt before I have to go back?”</p><p>“I’ll fill you with <em>something</em> alright.”</p><p>Alex snorted and swatted his shoulder. Michael just laughed and flashed a smile. He hadn’t stopped smiling since Alex got home. It was amazing.</p><p>Michael pulled out a box and sat it on the bed. It was nearly wrapped with a bow and all and Alex nearly cried at the effort that Michael had put in for someone like him of all people.</p><p>“Open it.”</p><p>“Michael,” Alex sighed, “I really feel bad.”</p><p>“Hey, when are gonna realize that you’re my gift? You being here is everything I wanted,” Michael said, leaning forward to give him another kiss, “Now open it.”</p><p>Alex felt a little helpless to do anything but comply, so he made sure to sigh as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He gave Michael one last glance before he carefully unwrapped it.</p><p>It was a small box.</p><p>“If this is jewelery, I'll–”</p><p>“Say ‘thank you, Michael, for being so considerate and loving, you’re the best boyfriend ever, I love you so much and I’ll wear it forever’,” Michael grinned. Alex tried to glare, but he knew it wasn’t effective. He was too busy trying not to cry. Why did he get to have this? It didn’t make sense.</p><p>He opened the box and inside sat a little heart-shaped locket. He swallowed and looked back to Michael who ushered him to open it. He did carefully and tried not to overreact when he saw a tiny version of them together with a guitar in the desert. The other side was blank.</p><p>“So that’ll be where our wedding picture goes,* Michael said like it was obvious, not a trace of teasing in his voice. Alex couldn’t breathe. "You’re gonna look so hot in a tux, no one’s ready, not even me.*</p><p>"I love you,” Alex breathed, not even thinking as tears pricked his eyes, “I love you so much, holy shit ”</p><p>“Oh, good, if you didn’t, this would be embarassing.”</p><p>Alex rolled his eyes and just immediately went foraard for another kiss. Except he didn’t meet his lips.</p><p>Instead, Alex’s eyes opened to his current bunk mate looking rather concerned.</p><p>“Dude, you were crying in your sleep, are you okay?” he asked quietly.</p><p>Alex sat up quickly, trying to catch his breath as he looked around. He was in his tent. He frantically pulled out the chain from beneath his shirt and it was just his dog tags. He checked his blanket, he checked everything, anything, there was nothing.</p><p>“No, no, no,” he said, looking to his bunk mate as a last ditch effort, “What day is it? Where are we?”</p><p>That concern only deepened. “Do I need to go get–”</p><p>“Answer the damn question!”</p><p>“Christmas,” he answered, “Iraq.”</p><p>Alex took a ragged breath and fell back, trying to regain composure. Of course. Of course that’s what he got.</p><p>Of course.</p><p>
  <em>…if only in my dreams</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://spaceskam.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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